Maybe there really is something to say about closure. It really does help make a situation a bit easier to bear. Dedicating this one to you, Theresse
....I hope it reaches you without tears
"For The Good Times" --- Al Green
Always loved this song, but never understood it...until now. Here's to the good times, which when we had them, they were really great.
Much love,
Marcus
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Quickie of the Day, Thursday, Sept. 30, 2010
(Not quite a quickie....)
As Close To Goodbye As It Gets
for Tressy
goodnight, sunlight angel
disassembled beneath the glow
of every star I ever promised you
so bright, and
so fulfilling,
I was a fool who couldn’t admit that they
dulled next to your shine
to say I love you is like
suggesting that
sharks have affinity for water
displaced from your environment
it reminds me
that I can’t breathe
but I de-sleeved you of your comfort
and wore your love for me as some badge
too often admired, instead of understood
too easily removed when the moment suggested I could
Boinayel, I rained you tears….luckily, a few of them
were good
I keep expecting you to drift away from me
or clear from my mind like the weather
but we are deeply rooted
opposite tattoos, traced from matching ink
I can’t erase you
we were etched from
the very same ledger,
ashes to ashes, and dust to rib
I am indebted to you, as long as we live
you gave me my solace, in more ways
than the obvious one
you always got me, didn’t you?
even when I was determined to puzzle you
we exist today like Rubik’s cube
I still have a passion for the blues
yet you painted out a rainbow, and I’m
forever impressed by your hues
in the absence of myself,
I can smell your presence, still
a second heartbeat
against my chest most days
I spend time guessing if I’ll
elude your rhythm
or maybe, just maybe
I am fuku…
that little bit of curse you were given
always embedded in your skin
singes noise hairs, and blots yours eyes
I beg that you forgive me, how I
covered you, like sin
I was too damn cool, for my own good
and appeared so unaffected
yet you have always had me, nervous ramblings
I still tremble when I open
my mind’s porcelain box
(where I placed you, afraid that I’d never reach you)
forever still sunrises in your distance, or perhaps
sunsets in mine, you keep trickling like
a row of lost pearls down my spine
I piece strings with awkward fingers
unlucky enough, they don’t find
their way to reset
forgetting is obsolete, since you are a
whisper each time I close my eyes
massive and directional like gravity
every new set of eyes is affected by you
will they ever match up?
can they ever compare?
the ripest peach, that I left, half-eaten
thinking, you were way too sweet
but always right….
1,579,117 Baby Steps...and Counting
Most people who actually know me, realize I like to walk. Maybe because I enjoy being alone with my thoughts. Maybe because I love the unexpectedness of moments that you can't just run right by. Or maybe it's simply because I have tons of practice, since I've never had a driver's license. (Don't get me started...it'll take many many posts to explain the circumstances and the anguish...so I digress)
Earlier today, I went for a walk.
I needed to clear my head, needed some time to think. Walking is more therapeutic than marijuana residue in my opinion,but that's also another post...lol.
I found myself at the local lake, staring into one of the most beautiful scenes I had ever seen. God is a master painter, rivaled by no one. Rembrandt, Van Gogh, & Da Vinci simply managed to take good notes.
The majestic view reminded me of many things.
The past, while a powerful scripting tool on correcting mistakes and getting it together, is the past for a reason. Before you can move forward, it has to be over.
The present is neverending. We move from moment to moment in mere seconds. If we spend too much time fretting them, they'll quickly pass us by.
And the future? It's out there somewhere, biding its time. Waiting. Perhaps it's wise to think about it, only as it approaches.
Besides, today God reminded me that, whether past, present, or future, my life is in more capable hands than my own.
(Sigh...)
Much love,
Marcus
Earlier today, I went for a walk.
I needed to clear my head, needed some time to think. Walking is more therapeutic than marijuana residue in my opinion,but that's also another post...lol.
I found myself at the local lake, staring into one of the most beautiful scenes I had ever seen. God is a master painter, rivaled by no one. Rembrandt, Van Gogh, & Da Vinci simply managed to take good notes.
The majestic view reminded me of many things.
The past, while a powerful scripting tool on correcting mistakes and getting it together, is the past for a reason. Before you can move forward, it has to be over.
The present is neverending. We move from moment to moment in mere seconds. If we spend too much time fretting them, they'll quickly pass us by.
And the future? It's out there somewhere, biding its time. Waiting. Perhaps it's wise to think about it, only as it approaches.
Besides, today God reminded me that, whether past, present, or future, my life is in more capable hands than my own.
(Sigh...)
Much love,
Marcus
Seems Like I'm Running, Even While Standing Still
Today my life is like a revolving door. Thoughts of present, past, and future, all circling this giant question mark that is me. Did mama say there'd be days like this? If she did, I should have paid attention.
| The Temper Trap - Sweet Disposition .mp3 | ||
 | ||
 | Found at bee mp3 search engine |  |
"Sweet Disposition" - The Temper Trap
Much love,
Marcus
Ex Marks The Spot
She called me today. Her voice has changed. I don't hear that old inflection. It's almost like she's at the post office, requesting a stamp. I don't think there's anything bad about the way she talks to me now...it's just...different.
Or maybe, I just think too much.
Much love,
Marcus
Or maybe, I just think too much.
Much love,
Marcus
Bird, Trane, Mingus, Miles, Dizz, Sphere, and Me....
Been really feeling jazz lately. Have always been an idle fan, but now I'm really starting to get into it. This one right here, one of the all-time greats
"Round About Midnight" - Thelonius Monk
Much love,
Marcus
What If You Lit a Spark & the Whole Thing Exploded?
Something just caught my attention and in the wake of our country's financial crisis, it made me wonder. American government has long been seen as a benchmark in the world of democracy, but do we really have the voice we believe? I can call my congressman tomorrow, and leave messages about what I think should happen (because realistically, if I call, am I really going to get to speak to Larry Kissell?), but will my message even be considered. Maybe it is seen as extreme, but the Europeans may be on to something. Here's the beginning of the article I was reading:
Anti-austerity protests erupted across Europe on Wednesday — Greek doctors and railway employees walked out, Spanish workers shut down trains and buses, and one man even blocked the Irish parliament with a cement truck to decry the country's enormous bank bailouts.
Tens of thousands of demonstrators marched through the streets of Brussels toward European Union buildings in bright red, green and blue labor union jackets, aiming to reinforce the impact of Spain's first nationwide strike in eight years.
Strikes or protests were also taking place Wednesday in Greece, Portugal,Ireland,Slovenia,and Lithuania, all aimed at the budget-slashing, tax-hiking, pension-cutting austerity plans that European governments have implemented to try to control their debt.
You can read the rest of the article here:
http://www.nydailynews.com/money/2010/09/29/2010-09-29_protests_erupt_across_europe_as_tens_of_thousands_riot_over_unpopular_eu_plans_t.html
Just imagine, if this happened stateside. Workers shutting down public transportation. Professionals from all walks of life uniting saying "We need you guys to do something."
Bail-outs are important, I understand that, but who is it exactly that we've been really trying to bail out?
Just a thought
Seconds....After Midnight, Wednesday Sept. 28, 2010
Ok, I'm late...lol...but spending time with someone you care about takes precedence over blogging.
Which brings me to my thought of the night...it shouldn't matter about the title, what other people think, the past, or any of that shit...if you have someone in your life who makes you feel good, cherish it for every second that you can, and hope that lasts a lifetime.
Much love,
Marcus
Which brings me to my thought of the night...it shouldn't matter about the title, what other people think, the past, or any of that shit...if you have someone in your life who makes you feel good, cherish it for every second that you can, and hope that lasts a lifetime.
Much love,
Marcus
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Quickie of the Day, Wednesday, Sept. 29, 2010
Myriad Youth
I see you, many,
moving mouths,
moving minds,
limbs that just now learned control
trying to find a way to stretch,
transatlantic cables, reaching across clouds
fetching dreams that seemed too big
they keep telling you to wait
I remember being in your shoes
trying not to evaporate while dissecting
fallacy from promise and still remembering
to smile, I walk a mile
around the fears that cloud your eyes
they think you can’t see tomorrow
but it’s hard to write it in, when
inexperience keeps forecasting sorrow
I know what it’s like
to want to be the mountain, instead of
trying to force mountains to move
in a world too full of puzzles, where it seems the only
clues they left were
don’t…
never…
can’t…
stop…
it’s hard to grow a forest when all we
ever seem
to tell the seeds
is no
I see you, many,
moving mouths,
moving minds,
limbs that just now learned control
trying to find a way to stretch,
transatlantic cables, reaching across clouds
fetching dreams that seemed too big
they keep telling you to wait
I remember being in your shoes
trying not to evaporate while dissecting
fallacy from promise and still remembering
to smile, I walk a mile
around the fears that cloud your eyes
they think you can’t see tomorrow
but it’s hard to write it in, when
inexperience keeps forecasting sorrow
I know what it’s like
to want to be the mountain, instead of
trying to force mountains to move
in a world too full of puzzles, where it seems the only
clues they left were
don’t…
never…
can’t…
stop…
it’s hard to grow a forest when all we
ever seem
to tell the seeds
is no
Theme Song of the Day, Wednesday, Sept. 29, 2010
| 01-jay-z ft. beyonce-bonnie c - jayz me and my girlfriend .mp3 | ||
| | ||
| Found at bee mp3 search engine | |
Recently in a new relationship, that so far is working pretty well...Erika, this one's for you...lol
Touch Not Mine Annointed, Do My Prophets....No Harm?
Okay, I've been hearing a WHOLE lot about Bishop Eddie Long, who is the senior pastor of New Birth Missionary Baptist Church in Atlanta, Ga.
First of all, I don't know if he's guilty or not. My personal opinion is that this is an instance where a desire for money seems to be more important than the truth...but that's just me. I'm just curious about all the side stuff going on.
Number 1: If you didn't go to church last Sunday, the Sunday before that, or any Sunday in this decade....why the hell did you show up on the morning he was supposed to address the allegations? I'm just saying. Gossip following announcements? Not a good look.
Number 2: CNN, ABC, HLN, Fox News, and anyone else who's thought about doing a story on this: Why? Are you really interested in the truth, or is this the next big conspiracy cow to milk?
Number 3: If I'm accusing you of sexual misconduct, why the fuck (forgive me, but really) would I be breaking in your office....to steal an iPhone? lmao...Maurice Robinson, welcome to America's Dumbest Criminals
Number 4: Is it the glitz and the bling that's blinding us in this story? If Bishop Long didn't make $3,000,000 last year, and didn't drive a Bentley, and didn't like Gucci sunglasses, and all the other financial trappings that every media outlet keeps pointing at....would we really even care?
The bottom line is this. God knows what happened (and to all the hypocrites who want to remind me that I used the word fuck earlier, comment, we can discuss it...lol)...He is the judge in all of this, and the truth, already known to Him, will eventually come out.
Much love,
Marcus
First of all, I don't know if he's guilty or not. My personal opinion is that this is an instance where a desire for money seems to be more important than the truth...but that's just me. I'm just curious about all the side stuff going on.
Number 1: If you didn't go to church last Sunday, the Sunday before that, or any Sunday in this decade....why the hell did you show up on the morning he was supposed to address the allegations? I'm just saying. Gossip following announcements? Not a good look.
Number 2: CNN, ABC, HLN, Fox News, and anyone else who's thought about doing a story on this: Why? Are you really interested in the truth, or is this the next big conspiracy cow to milk?
Number 3: If I'm accusing you of sexual misconduct, why the fuck (forgive me, but really) would I be breaking in your office....to steal an iPhone? lmao...Maurice Robinson, welcome to America's Dumbest Criminals
Number 4: Is it the glitz and the bling that's blinding us in this story? If Bishop Long didn't make $3,000,000 last year, and didn't drive a Bentley, and didn't like Gucci sunglasses, and all the other financial trappings that every media outlet keeps pointing at....would we really even care?
The bottom line is this. God knows what happened (and to all the hypocrites who want to remind me that I used the word fuck earlier, comment, we can discuss it...lol)...He is the judge in all of this, and the truth, already known to Him, will eventually come out.
Much love,
Marcus
Everytime I Think About Giving Up, I Remember What I'm Grinding For
This right here is dedicated to everybody out there moving towards acheiving something that you're passionate about
"Kick,Push" - Lupe Fiasco
Keep kicking, keep pushing, and coast!!!
| Lupe Fiasco - Kick, Push .mp3 | ||
| | ||
| Found at bee mp3 search engine | |
You gotta love Lupe (or at least, you should...lol)
Rocking Pajama Bottoms @ 3 P.M.
Good morning? lol
I just realized that my personal clock is waaaaay out of balance. Went to sleep at around 7 a.m. and now I just woke up at around 2. Still in the process of getting my day started. Guess I'm moving on Hawaii time. (Been wishing that Hamlet's rainy weather could be replaced by something tropical)
But anyway, thanks to the new followers...I appreciate you more than you know.
Just got through reading an article about Ernest Pullen, a 57 year old man from Bonne Terre, Missouri, who retired from his job in June, after winning $1,000,000 on a scratch off. Must be nice, huh?
How about earlier this month, he won $2,000,000 on a second scratch off
ticket.
In the words of former NFL widereceiver Keyshawn Johnson....C'mon man!!!
Some folks have all the luck.
I just realized that my personal clock is waaaaay out of balance. Went to sleep at around 7 a.m. and now I just woke up at around 2. Still in the process of getting my day started. Guess I'm moving on Hawaii time. (Been wishing that Hamlet's rainy weather could be replaced by something tropical)
But anyway, thanks to the new followers...I appreciate you more than you know.
Just got through reading an article about Ernest Pullen, a 57 year old man from Bonne Terre, Missouri, who retired from his job in June, after winning $1,000,000 on a scratch off. Must be nice, huh?
How about earlier this month, he won $2,000,000 on a second scratch off
ticket.
In the words of former NFL widereceiver Keyshawn Johnson....C'mon man!!!
Some folks have all the luck.
If The Revolution Happens Before Noon, Can You Send Me A Wake-Up Call?
Tonight is one of those nights...and you're probably thinking, "It's 4 in the morning, why are you even awake?", but the answer is simple. The affected steal sleep in bits and pieces. Lol. Okay, that was just some cool sounding shit to say. In reality, insomnia visits me most nights, mainly because I let it. There's always some reason not to go to sleep. Counting sheep doesn't make me want to go any faster, and neither does lying in the dark. With sleep, as with far too many other things in my life, I find myself needing to be forced into surrender. If I stay awake long enough, eventually my mind will collapse.
Maybe Lunesta would work better instead?
Here's to the restless
"Insomnia" - Mike Candys & Jack Holiday
Ironically, the best song called "Insomnia" that I could find sounds like some trance/rave music...lol
Much love (and sleep)
Marcus
Maybe Lunesta would work better instead?
Here's to the restless
| Mike Candys & Jack Holiday - Insomnia .mp3 | ||
| | ||
| Found at bee mp3 search engine | |
Ironically, the best song called "Insomnia" that I could find sounds like some trance/rave music...lol
Much love (and sleep)
Marcus
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Seconds to Midnight, Sept. 28, 2010
Something a friend posted on another site made me think. It said "Missing my son. Life is so bittersweet." Right now, I can currently relate. Even though things aren't going so great between me and his mother, I know he will always be both of our primary focus. Just really missing him right now, and hoping that the actions/reactions of my sometimes troublesome heart don't end up affecting him forever.
Solace Raphael Robert Jamison, btw....soon to be 2 years old, and more precious than this world may ever know...with his worrisome self...lol...love you, Soli.
So to all the parents out there, treasure your kids.
Much love,
Marcus
Solace Raphael Robert Jamison, btw....soon to be 2 years old, and more precious than this world may ever know...with his worrisome self...lol...love you, Soli.
So to all the parents out there, treasure your kids.
Much love,
Marcus
Theme Song of the Day, Tuesday Sept. 28, 2010
| Francis & The Lights - Darling, It's Alright .mp3 | ||
| | ||
| Found at bee mp3 search engine | |
Francis & the Lights, an amazing group quickly becoming one of my new favorites!!
(so glad the embed code worked...awesome...lol)
Quickie of The Day: Tuesday, Sept. 28, 2010
Coltrane
I too was born in the middle of nowhere,
and perhaps
it's shaded my mood
I will never get to jam with Miles, but I can
sure dig it
tying my shoelaces in the morning
rocking Blues by Five
wondering if one more dream evaporated
while I bored myself to sleep
I still feel alive, in spite of
calm, dirt road beginnings
they never paved the street I grew up on
a constant reminder that as we change
a part of us stays the same
I toss my cares into the air
they play themselves back in
smooth tenor sax
I smile, knowing it ain't where you're from
but definitely where you're at
and I'm moving still
I too was born in the middle of nowhere,
and perhaps
it's shaded my mood
I will never get to jam with Miles, but I can
sure dig it
tying my shoelaces in the morning
rocking Blues by Five
wondering if one more dream evaporated
while I bored myself to sleep
I still feel alive, in spite of
calm, dirt road beginnings
they never paved the street I grew up on
a constant reminder that as we change
a part of us stays the same
I toss my cares into the air
they play themselves back in
smooth tenor sax
I smile, knowing it ain't where you're from
but definitely where you're at
and I'm moving still
It is 6 A.M....I Overslept, Spilled My Last Cup of Coffee, Got Here With Just a Few Seconds To Spare...And You Bring Up Some Damn Itenirary?
Before throwing all promises out the window, I will make one to all of my readers. I will take this blog seriously. Even if I am my only follower....lmao. That said, there is no strict format. I'll talk about, share, discuss, and post things as they jump into my mind. (Doesn't sound scary to you? That's because you have no idea what goes on inside...lol)
A few things I will stick to though, are the following:
As a poet, I will post what I call my "Quickie of the Day"....one new piece about anything and everything, that I will give to you daily. It'll be short, sweet, and spur of the moment, so hopefully it is appreciated.
Second, I am a music junkie. As much as I love words, I love things that I think sound good. As I become better informed about how links work on here, I'll post what I call my "Theme Song of the Day"...one song that I'm really feeling, digging, or just simply playing at that moment. Love it or hate it, and as with everything on here, comment away.
Finally, I will TRY to end each day with what I call my "Seconds to Midnight Moment"...this will be the very last thought on my mind as I go from one day towards the next.
So, from henceforth (do normal people actually use that in conversation? lol)...this blog has left it's infancy. Let the journey begin.
Much love,
Marcus
A few things I will stick to though, are the following:
As a poet, I will post what I call my "Quickie of the Day"....one new piece about anything and everything, that I will give to you daily. It'll be short, sweet, and spur of the moment, so hopefully it is appreciated.
Second, I am a music junkie. As much as I love words, I love things that I think sound good. As I become better informed about how links work on here, I'll post what I call my "Theme Song of the Day"...one song that I'm really feeling, digging, or just simply playing at that moment. Love it or hate it, and as with everything on here, comment away.
Finally, I will TRY to end each day with what I call my "Seconds to Midnight Moment"...this will be the very last thought on my mind as I go from one day towards the next.
So, from henceforth (do normal people actually use that in conversation? lol)...this blog has left it's infancy. Let the journey begin.
Much love,
Marcus
If A Tree Falls In The Forest, And There's No One Around To Hear It....Ummm...
Or in other words, why should I care?
I imagine this is what a lot of people are thinking when they, intentionally sent or accidentally stumbling, find themselves face to face with yet another blog. Who does this asshole think he is?
Well, in short, I am you. Not literally, of course, or this would be one crazy conversation, but I'm just a regular person like everyone else, hoping to do some extraordinary things. I can be that voice of reason, when you badly need someone to say slow down. Or that match to the burner that gets things blazing when you desperately need a spark. I am your therapist, your co-defender, your confidant, your biggest fan...cheerleader, sidekick, devil's advocate, whatever you need.
I am all of this, and nothing.
Mainly, I'm just one person with a voice, never afraid to use it, hoping that if I scream loud enough, then somewhere, it will be heard. Hopefully that makes a difference.
Much love,
Marcus
I imagine this is what a lot of people are thinking when they, intentionally sent or accidentally stumbling, find themselves face to face with yet another blog. Who does this asshole think he is?
Well, in short, I am you. Not literally, of course, or this would be one crazy conversation, but I'm just a regular person like everyone else, hoping to do some extraordinary things. I can be that voice of reason, when you badly need someone to say slow down. Or that match to the burner that gets things blazing when you desperately need a spark. I am your therapist, your co-defender, your confidant, your biggest fan...cheerleader, sidekick, devil's advocate, whatever you need.
I am all of this, and nothing.
Mainly, I'm just one person with a voice, never afraid to use it, hoping that if I scream loud enough, then somewhere, it will be heard. Hopefully that makes a difference.
Much love,
Marcus
If This Were A Scripture, You'd Find It In Genesis
So, I've completed the introdution (well sort of). I'm very poetic as you can probably tell, so my first post naturally had to be. But in order for this blog to become what it can/what I desire it to be, I must REALLY introduce myself. So....29 years in 300 words or less...lol...here goes.
My name is Marcus Jamison. Born 12/24/80, in a small town called Hamlet, I am the youngest of 7 kids. Big family, close knit family, and all of that good stuff. I was a bit shy growing up, smart kid, always trying to take something apart or figure out how something works. A deep thinker, I managed to survive the adolescent angst, and high school. Made an attempt at college, or what I'd call a wasted try. Came back to smalltownville, a bit dejected, and threw my focus into surviving, until I could try again. 10 years later, and several instances where life reworked my path, I am still here in Hamlet, chiseling away at what I hope is my figurative Venus de Milo (even though parts of me have been lost in the process, I still consider myself a masterpiece.)
Intelligent, creative, and a lover of words since the age of 4, poet is not just a description, it is my most comfortable skin. I write to ease my many worries. I write as a reflection of myself. I write because it is akin to breathing, and with each letter, I find it beautiful. It is one of the many things about myself that I will share with you.
WARNING #1....I am very opinionated, and I say exactly what I feel, 99.873% of the time (yes, I made this number more complicated, because I liked the way it looked...so the fuck what!!).
WARNING # 2....Profanity is bad, but like most people, I have my bad side. Therefore I may use quite a bit of it. Apologies only to my mother, the minister.
WARNING #3.....I am clinically insane...lol...okay, I'm just kidding, but three warnings seemed better than two. Besides, after some of my posts, you might believe this is true. Suit yourselves.
So, there you have it. Marcus Jamison, the 29 year old poet from little ass Hamlet, went to college, didn't finish, refuses to let it bury him. Welcome to my world!
Much love,
Marcus
My name is Marcus Jamison. Born 12/24/80, in a small town called Hamlet, I am the youngest of 7 kids. Big family, close knit family, and all of that good stuff. I was a bit shy growing up, smart kid, always trying to take something apart or figure out how something works. A deep thinker, I managed to survive the adolescent angst, and high school. Made an attempt at college, or what I'd call a wasted try. Came back to smalltownville, a bit dejected, and threw my focus into surviving, until I could try again. 10 years later, and several instances where life reworked my path, I am still here in Hamlet, chiseling away at what I hope is my figurative Venus de Milo (even though parts of me have been lost in the process, I still consider myself a masterpiece.)
Intelligent, creative, and a lover of words since the age of 4, poet is not just a description, it is my most comfortable skin. I write to ease my many worries. I write as a reflection of myself. I write because it is akin to breathing, and with each letter, I find it beautiful. It is one of the many things about myself that I will share with you.
WARNING #1....I am very opinionated, and I say exactly what I feel, 99.873% of the time (yes, I made this number more complicated, because I liked the way it looked...so the fuck what!!).
WARNING # 2....Profanity is bad, but like most people, I have my bad side. Therefore I may use quite a bit of it. Apologies only to my mother, the minister.
WARNING #3.....I am clinically insane...lol...okay, I'm just kidding, but three warnings seemed better than two. Besides, after some of my posts, you might believe this is true. Suit yourselves.
So, there you have it. Marcus Jamison, the 29 year old poet from little ass Hamlet, went to college, didn't finish, refuses to let it bury him. Welcome to my world!
Much love,
Marcus
The Door Opens
Welcome....you have started an intricate journey, one where none of us know where we'll be led. I am merely the guide, hoping as I lead you that this journey serves you well. We set sail from an entrance into the inner portions of my mind. Like yours, it is full of constant wonder and moved by its daily joys and sorrows. Join me as we move through, hopefully never to be the same.
Much love,
Marcus
Much love,
Marcus
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