I've been doing so much lately, which all ultimately seems like not nearly enough. That combination has led to stress and what I like to call stress sickness. This is where you're constantly going, perhaps a bit too fast, so your body, in all of its infinite wisdom, decides to throw some real illness symptoms on you, in an effort to get you to slow down. The idea behind this is to force rest. Of course, the body fails to understand that those of us who are constantly in motion, either physically or mentally, never both with rest. We simply over-medicate and keep going. So it's possible the Dayquil, three packets of Thera-Flu, and two teaspoons of Robitussin were all for naught. But I digress.
This sudden bout with temporary illness has succeeded in forcing me to take a moment's rest. It has caused my to lie down, which naturally invokes wonder. I have taken this opportunity to think about some things. How I want to change the world but can barely function in it long enough before it feels like I need to surrender. How I want to become a better person without losing my sense of self. How I love the things I love and hate the things I hate, but often find myself wishing there was more. How sometimes I get so caught up in what I'm doing or trying to do, that I forget to simply be. In these moments, I wish I could get a phone call from within, from that hidden voice of reason, telling me everything's okay.
Hello? Hello? Is anybody there?
Marcus Jamison, the Rare Poet
