Right now, take a moment and digest this statement.
The things we fear are only ever as powerful as we make them.
This is an amazing concept when put into practice with everyday living. When thinking about it like that, being afraid seems a bit trivial at best. Most people want to try new things, but are often afraid of failure. But think about it logically. Even if you fail, will you end up any worse off than where you are right now? If the answer is no, then you really should have tried it by now.
Even fears of those intangible things such as death or being alone are not so great when examined closely. Everybody dies. It's not a pleasant thing to think about, but if you spend all your time fearing death, you lose the beauty of living. And then, you die anyway. Being alone should be a moment to delve into yourself, not something that leaves you crippled and saddened. And the reality is, nobody has to be alone. They just fear it so much that it drives people away. Even if you're awkward, ugly, stupid, or whatever other negative thing you've imagined about yourself, the world is full of other awkward, ugly, stupid people who'll embrace you, if you only look around.
I've decided that fear is a waste of time. True, it serves a purpose (like protecting us from dangerous situations that we know we should avoid), but it should never have the power to make you stagnant. If fear is stopping you from doing anything, try this little exercise. List every one of your fears, as silly as they may sound. Write them out on a piece of paper. Read that list aloud. And then remind yourself that these things only have as much power as you let them have.
Here is a list of my fears.
1. Death
2. Failure
3. Constantly hurting people I love
4. Never becoming the writer I want to be
5. Rejection
6. Couldn't think of anything else, but wanted to have a 6
And now, I've thought about it carefully. I know I'm going to die, but that doesn't mean I'm planning for it tomorrow. I don't think I really fear dying, more so than dying, and feeling unfulfilled, like there's still much I have yet to accomplish. But perhaps by trying my best to enjoy this life to the fullest, I'll do those things along the way.
And failure?!? I've already failed plenty of times. You'd think I'd be over it by now.
I think the people in my life who I love, also love me back. This mutual relationship helps to ease the brunt of the pain caused when we hurt each other. Plus, I'm trying to be the type of person who never hurts anyone intentionally, and apologizes when he accidentally does. A work in progress, but I'm getting there.
As far as rejection, I've come to realize that people are either going to accept you, or think that you're really strange. At least, that's how it is with me. So I embrace that and don't let it get me down.
So, there you have it. I've processed my fears and they don't seem nearly as powerful anymore. Hopefully you'll release the power of your fears as well.
Becoming happier people is definitely dependent upon it.
Marcus Jamison, the Rare Poet
