I am Everything, and I am Nothing

Earlier, I mentioned a little blog cruising I was doing today.  Another interesting post caught my attention.  This one comes from C.Hope Clark....who is also mentioned on my page, Rare Genius: The Blogs I Read.

Mrs. Clark's topic was What I'll Miss in Heaven, which really made me think.  I remember once upon a time, when I contemplated death and the afterlife, I used to become nervous and physically pained.  Mainly because I was thinking about some of the same sentiments that Mrs. Clark discussed.  But I eventually was able to move past that, deciding to focus on the present life now.  I'll worry about the afterlife when I get there.

Which led me to think about present life, and how we sometimes get caught up planning for the future or worrying about the past, instead of actually existing in the moment.  But in order to exist in the moment, there has to be a comfort level about doing so, which few people rarely achieve.  It seems like even those with massive amounts of wealth are constantly contemplating the future or dwelling on the past.  And if they can live in the moment comfortably, how can I?  Then something hit me....


I am everything, and I am nothing.

Very interesting words, and powerful, to say the least.  But what do I mean when I say them?  First of all, this is not some clever metaphor.  I mean these words in the most literal sense possible, although it is sometimes hard to grasp concepts as broad as everything and nothing.  Okay, so let's break it down.

I am everything....

Sounds like I'm being full of myself, but that's because I am.  I'm not trying to anger anyone here, but I am the center of my world.  Now before someone emails me a list of scriptures that I've probably already read numerous times, this is not in anyway an attempt to belittle God.  I am a very spiritual person, who deeply believes in God, and therefore gives the utmost respect and acknowledgement to my creator.  But the purpose of me saying that I am the center of my world is in terms of all of the physically tangible aspects of it.  The people around me.  The animals.  The plants.  The trees.  Buildings.  Lakes.  Mountains.  While these things are all wonderful in their own respects, they are just additions to my world.  They cannot define it.  I must define it.  I must choose the people I invite into my world.  I must determine the places that I'll go to.  I must decide what things I will do.  In essence, I am the gatekeeper to my world.  This is not to say that I don't believe God sometimes sends things or people into my life that I have no control over.  I believe this happens, but it is up to me how I receive it.  (Admittedly, sometimes I've dropped the ball in this regards...but another post, perhaps.)

The purpose I am saying that I am everything is to understand that I do have the power to positively affect my life.  Hell, it's mine.  I should have that power.  But I've fallen victim to the same thinking that I'm sure has trapped others.  We see something in our lives going negatively, and immediately we begin to feel powerless.  "I guess it's just one of those things I can't change...."  Why does everything bad always seem to end up in this category?  It's because we so easily forget to remind ourselves of the fact:  "I am everything..."  Which means I don't have to stress about my future.  It is simply waiting for me to mold it.  And the funny thing about dwelling on the past is the one reason we never admit why we're doing it.  It's not what WE think about our own past that really bothers us, as much as what OTHERS might think about our past.  But embracing the "I am everything" half of the statement renders other people's opinions null and void.  Suddenly, their opinions don't matter so much.  At least not like your own.  In your world, you are everything, because it starts and ends with you.  So yes, I am everything.

But I realized that with only this half of the statement, there is so much realization that goes missing.  Enter the second half.

and I am nothing....

Notice how there is an 'and' in here.  Most people will tell me that I can't be everything AND nothing at the same time, but these people are simply limiting their thinking.  In my world, I am everything.  But in the grand scheme of things, I am nothing.  In the fabric of time, I am merely a blink, an instance, a moment that will eventually pass.  In order to fully value life, I must understand it is limited.  We all know that we are going to die, but few of us really embrace this fact.  I think this is because we feel that by embracing this, it accelerates the process.  But that's not true.  It can also serve to force us into a reality where every second matters.  If every moment of our lives begins to count, this is how we'll end up living to our fullest potential.  In the grand scheme of things, I am nothing, because I am fragile and will eventually expire, but in my world, I am everything, and therefore have the unlimited power of making every second of my life count.

Even if it's simply by inhaling deeply, and being thankful for one more second of breath.

I am everything, and I am nothing.  And for me, that's a beautiful thing.

Marcus Jamison, the Rare Poet