Theme Song of The Day, Thursday, Sept.30, 2010

Maybe there really is something to say about closure. It really does help make a situation a bit easier to bear. Dedicating this one to you, Theresse
....I hope it reaches you without tears


"For The Good Times" --- Al Green

Always loved this song, but never understood it...until now. Here's to the good times, which when we had them, they were really great.
Much love,
Marcus

Quickie of the Day, Thursday, Sept. 30, 2010

(Not quite a quickie....)

As Close To Goodbye As It Gets

for Tressy

goodnight, sunlight angel

disassembled beneath the glow

of every star I ever promised you

so bright, and

so fulfilling,

I was a fool who couldn’t admit that they

dulled next to your shine

to say I love you is like

suggesting that

sharks have affinity for water

displaced from your environment

it reminds me

that I can’t breathe

but I de-sleeved you of your comfort

and wore your love for me as some badge

too often admired, instead of understood

too easily removed when the moment suggested I could

Boinayel, I rained you tears….luckily, a few of them

were good

I keep expecting you to drift away from me

or clear from my mind like the weather

but we are deeply rooted

opposite tattoos, traced from matching ink

I can’t erase you

we were etched from

the very same ledger,

ashes to ashes, and dust to rib

I am indebted to you, as long as we live

you gave me my solace, in more ways

than the obvious one

you always got me, didn’t you?

even when I was determined to puzzle you

we exist today like Rubik’s cube

I still have a passion for the blues

yet you painted out a rainbow, and I’m

forever impressed by your hues

in the absence of myself,

I can smell your presence, still

a second heartbeat

against my chest most days

I spend time guessing  if I’ll

elude your rhythm

or maybe, just maybe

I am fuku…

that little bit of curse you were given

always embedded in your skin

singes noise hairs, and blots yours eyes

I beg that you forgive me, how I

covered you, like sin

I was too damn cool, for my own good

and appeared so unaffected

yet you have always had me, nervous ramblings

I still tremble when I open

my mind’s porcelain box

(where I placed you, afraid that I’d never reach you)

forever still sunrises in your distance, or perhaps

sunsets in mine, you keep trickling like

a row of lost pearls down my spine

I piece strings with awkward fingers

unlucky enough, they don’t find

their way to reset

forgetting is obsolete, since you are a

whisper each time I close my eyes

massive and directional like gravity

every new set of eyes is affected by you

will they ever match up?

can they ever compare?

the ripest peach, that I left, half-eaten

thinking, you were way too sweet

but always right….

1,579,117 Baby Steps...and Counting

Most people who actually know me, realize I like to walk. Maybe because I enjoy being alone with my thoughts.  Maybe because I love the unexpectedness of moments that you can't just run right by.  Or maybe it's simply because I have tons of practice, since I've never had a driver's license. (Don't get me started...it'll take many many posts to explain the circumstances and the anguish...so I digress)

Earlier today, I went for a walk.

I needed to clear my head, needed some time to think.  Walking is more therapeutic than marijuana residue in my opinion,but that's also another post...lol.

I found myself at the local lake, staring into one of the most beautiful scenes I had ever seen.  God is a master painter, rivaled by no one.  Rembrandt, Van Gogh, & Da Vinci simply managed to take good notes.

The majestic view reminded me of many things.

The past, while a powerful scripting tool on correcting mistakes and getting it together, is the past for a reason.  Before you can move forward, it has to be over.

The present is neverending.  We move from moment to moment in mere seconds.  If we spend too much time fretting them, they'll quickly pass us by.

And the future?  It's out there somewhere, biding its time.  Waiting.  Perhaps it's wise to think about it, only as it approaches.

Besides, today God reminded me that, whether past, present, or future, my life is in more capable hands than my own.

(Sigh...)

Much love,
Marcus

Seems Like I'm Running, Even While Standing Still

Today my life is like a revolving door. Thoughts of present, past, and future, all circling this giant question mark that is me. Did mama say there'd be days like this? If she did, I should have paid attention.

	The Temper Trap - Sweet Disposition .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

"Sweet Disposition" - The Temper Trap

Much love,
Marcus

Ex Marks The Spot

She called me today. Her voice has changed. I don't hear that old inflection. It's almost like she's at the post office, requesting a stamp. I don't think there's anything bad about the way she talks to me now...it's just...different.

Or maybe, I just think too much.

Much love,
Marcus