She tells me that life is a gamble.
And frankly, I agree that it's true. You take what you're given from the start, and slowly risk your way into everything. The best schools. The highest paying jobs. The hearts and minds of those you think are the prettiest or the coolest. Too often, it's all about the bluff. Most of the time, it's not what you have, but what you make people think you have that actually wins the pot. Manipulation has a role in almost everything, and certainly in success.
She said given the hand she's been dealt, it feels like all-in since the beginning.
This is where it's cool to have friends who are writers. They speak different. Say things that have such t-shirt appeal. Although I was impressed by her observation, I quickly had to remind her that nobody promised she was playing in a high stakes game. Some lives are meant to be boring, more penny ante game with good friends than a seat at Harrah's, the whole world watching, with the Main Event on the line. And that's enough for most people. The average mundane existence: a 9 to 5, a bed, family, friends, bills, amusements....the regular life.
I guess she tells me these things, because she knows that I get it. My soul sees average and runs for cover. I want to slide all my chips across the table, reckless and uncaring, with a smile on my face. I want the spotlight shining on me, a collected look hiding the nervousness beating in my chest, as I utter those three seemingly magical words.
"I'm all in."
And I want to win. No small pots that I'll blow covering a few big blinds. I'm talking about the prize at life's final table: unadulterated, lasting happiness. Poker analogies aside, I believe this is what we all want. A fabulous life that will make us happy. At least, until it's over.
She tells me that life is a gamble. I think she knows that I understand.
Marcus Jamison, the Rare Poet
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