For the Record: Something That's Been On My Mind

I feel like I should make a note about a post that I recently made.

Realizing I'm Different at 30.

This post was not intended as an attack on anyone, even though, upon rereading it, I see how it may be taken as such.  I still consider this woman to be an amazing individual, and meant her no disrespect.  The writer in me just felt like it was an interesting story.  The man who is trying to grow into a better person was pleased with how different he reacted to a situation, as opposed to how he would have in the past.  And the bottom line of the post was simply to express how I felt.

I see that this female feels like I am not sharing the full story, and one thing I've always tried to be is an advocate of the whole truth.  She did warn me, from the beginning, that I might get hurt in our dealings together.  Very early on, in fact.  I laughed, told her I doubted it, and then started to appreciate her even more.  But I certainly shouldn't be mad in any instance.  I knew what I was getting into.  And the fact of the matter is, I pursued her.  Even though I was aware/had some idea, that I was outside of her comfort zone.  I'm usually the last one to be "catching feelings" so I guess I was just ultimately surprised by the fact that I kind of did.  But I do value her friendship enough to attempt to salvage it.  She's cool as fuck.  I guess I just needed to do some venting.

But I wasn't trying to blow the situation up, or make it a big deal.  What happened simply happened.  Hell, it sounds like something I would have done in the not so distant past.  Okay, in all honesty, possibly in the future, given the right situation.  Lol.  But that post wasn't supposed to be about right or wrong, and I see that it came off that way.

So to you, C.E., I take this opportunity to apologize.  And I use your initials only so you are aware that I'm speaking to you, earnestly.  All the Sherlock Holmes of the world, who'll attempt to figure it out, the hell with them.  (And yes, I realize that is pretentious, as if anybody cares that much about my boring life..lol)

I was simply attempting to write about something personal, without taking it personal, and I failed.  You are not at fault here.  I am.   Hopefully, you'll accept my apology.

Okay, that is all.

Marcus Jamison, the Rare Poet