Just a Bit of My Thoughts

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growing up, my daddy was always there
I didn’t have to cry about seeing him next week
no tear drops hitting the ground
like mile markers, or screams of his name
filling the distancing air
he was there
I never once thought
to hug a bit harder, or squeeze a bit tighter
leave a trembling hand
tracing his beard at night while I slept
out of fear that he might
disappear
his bed was a mere ten feet from mine
not a second city
a separate home
no adequate space for loneliness to roam
I was lucky
he was there
which is why it hits me kind of hard
when mine reaches, tiny arms
that only want to take daddy along
but the space remains empty
the tears continue to fall
and all I can say is
“baby, please
don’t cry…I’ll see you again
next time.”

the seconds create pain