When I'm Sleeping....

I no longer know when I’m sleeping.

It seems I spend the night in the space between, pressing through plastic layers, trying to emerge.

Last night I had dreams while half-awake. I could sit up and the dream would stop. Lie down, it would continue. The whole time aware that I am not fully asleep, can get up, move my arms, am dreaming.

These words, from Hannah Miet (an amazing writer, blogger, journalist, and essayist), really made me think.  I sometimes feel like my life is spent this way, trapped 'in the space between'.  Purgatory without Dante's rich language.  This life often feels like punishment for realizing a greater purpose, but being unable to make myself seek it.  I keep feeling like I'm living this very long half-awake dream.  Trying to break through boundaries that aren't real, but still manage to hold me back.  Manage to keep me from truly living.

I keep waiting for that bright beam of sun.  Something within my consciousness to start flashing like those annoying red numbers on the digital alarm clocks.  Then, I'll finally wake up.

Marcus Jamison, the Rare Poet